Are you secure in your identity?

What is your identity? When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? What do you really see?

What are you like at giving out criticism? How well do you take criticism?

I don't have a degree in human behaviour, nor am I an expert in detecting the character of another human being! My only understanding is through my own behaviour and life experiences, and what I have observed in others.

I believe there are three types in this case:

Type A: People who are extremely critical and condemning of others

Type B: Peope who are deeply wounded by criticism and condemnation, tending not to offer criticism for fear of more condemnation

Type C: People who are balanced in the giving of and receiving of criticism and condemnation

Let's look at Type A first. What causes a person to always be critical and condemning? And why is it that generally speaking, these people can "dish it out" but can't take it themselves?

After chatting with a few of my peers on this subject, this is what I have gleaned from them, and my own understanding. A critical and condemning person often has a negative personality. They view life from the glass half empty perspective. They have an insecurity in their own identity, and often they harbour jealousy, quite possibly toward the one they have targeted to criticize.

Type B also seems to suffer from an identity crisis. These are people who are generally very insecure about their own worth. This brings out feelings of helplessness and self condemnation. Quite often these people show a timid personality, yet harbour inner resentment.

Type C naturally displays a character that is well balanced. They "take things on the chin" and are usually self confident and secure in their own worth as human beings.

Obviously, from looking at both Type A and B, there is a glaring similarity in that both these types suffer from a lack of identity in who they are. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me at all to discover that Type A has a lot of the same characteristics as Type B. And Type B could very well share some of the aspects of Type A!

The saying, "we are a product of our own upbringing" has a ring of truth and is most likely the culprit when it comes to determine our worth and status, as we grow into adulthood. But here you are, an adult, still carrying the scars of your growing years...so is it too late to change? I think we would all like to bear the title of Type C. Let's face it, wouldn't we all desire to be well balanced, self confident and secure in who we are? Do I hear a yes?

Most of us have role models, people we aspire to be like. You know, we don't have to look far to find the perfect role model....the perfect Type C. The person is Jesus Christ.

Here was a man, who was gentle in His dealing with children, compassionate enough to heal the sick. He lived a simple and humble life, in fact He claims to have come into the world not to be served, but to serve. He was resolute in His beliefs and teachings, yet showed incredible humility under extreme pressure. Yes, He was gentle and compassionate, but He was no pushover.

I find myself being humbled beyond words as I read the gospels, when Jesus stood before the religious leaders, on trial for what they claimed to be blasphemy.

Here was God in the flesh, standing before men who He created! This was no mere man awaiting trial for a crime He didn't commit........this was the Son of God! He could very easily have said to these religious leaders, "listen here ya swine, you don't believe I am the Son of God? Hey I can wipe you out with just one glance heavenward. Are you forgetting I have the power to raise the dead"? He could have....He had the power to do it......He could have shown these guys who the real boss of the show was......yet He didn't!

Why??? Because He was secure in His identity. He knew He was the Son of God. He didn't need to prove a thing to anyone! And He knew that there would come a time when His accusers would find out the truth.

Imagine, having all this power at your fingertips.......He could have done a whole lot worse than upend a few tables! But Jesus remained resolute, yet humble. He allowed the accusers to condemn, He allowed them to spew hatred at Him. He answered their accusations with firm conviction. He didn't need to raise His voice, He didn't need to hurl abuse back at them.

Did they win? Was their criticism and condemnation rewarded? Watch the object of their abuse as He is beaten and scourged. Watch as He carries this heavy wooden cross to His place of execution. Watch as He hangs on the cross, while He is ridiculed and scorned. "Son of God? You claim to be the Son of God," they sneer, "so come down off that cross then, if you are who you say you are".....and what does Jesus do? He prays, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do".

Does this sound like a man who is a Type A or a Type B? The answer is a resounding no! What a perfect example to follow, what a beautiful role model!

Imagine the strength and tenacity it would take to undergo torture the way He did, and yet still keep going, carrying a large wooden cross. He could have collapsed in a heap....yet He didn't. He maintained every ounce of dignity...and He did it without retaliating. Only someone completely confident in their identity could have fulfilled the mission given to them.....and Jesus did!